I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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