I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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