She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
