Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
