fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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