i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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