Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
