hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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