the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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