If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
