She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
