All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize