During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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