I'm jealous of your bromance
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This is classic penis vs brain.
40s are totally the cure
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