i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
