Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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