Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
