you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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