You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
