): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
