I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Its about making memories worth repressing
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
