allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
