He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
