Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize