Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
