I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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