How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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