Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
