I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
