For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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