if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
