I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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