Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
