no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
