all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize