Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
