There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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