her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
