mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize