Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
