I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
