Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
