hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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