Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
