I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
