You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize