dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
