Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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