maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
