I cockslap morals
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize