so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
