I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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