I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
