I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
