My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize