btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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