If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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