I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so that wasnt chicken after all
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
