What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
