Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
