she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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