I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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